Unexpected Answers

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I recently had a conversation with my husband where he told me that it’s my time to do something for myself. “Anything” he said…”something to make you happy”

I went through the list…a job? School? Art class?
Every option I came up with just didn’t really fit. I started to panic because I have always been a person who knows exactly what I want. I went to some advising appointments at colleges, I looked into art classes, I researched Jobs.

Still nothing. No fire. No excitement.

My wise friend asked me, “if there was no limits and no pressure on yourself right now, what would you do?”
My answer surprised me. It came quickly and clearly. “I would be with myself. I would make my home a sanctuary for those I love. I would nurture my friends and family and my body and soul with good food and big love. I would get chickens and collect their eggs everyday. I would have Jason build me a green house. I would have wine with my best people. I would write.”

I realized I had been stuck because I was trying to access the “before-kids me” who wanted to save the world and shake the Earth. The old me who wanted to stand on the mountain tops and proclaim a message for all to hear. The one with a fire that couldn’t be tamed.
I assumed that Motherhood just put a freeze on that me and as soon as possible, she would resume.
What I didn’t know is that Motherhood would birth a new me with different priorities and a whole different lens.

The lesson here for me …and maybe for you, is that we are in an evolving relationship with ourselves just as we are with those we love. It’s important to give ourselves the respect and care to ask ourselves hard questions and be open to unexpected answers.

 

 

 

 

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